I have always envisioned myself as a stay at home mom. It’s what I’ve always wanted to be! But for some reason that vision totally skipped right over the infancy through preschooler period of my imaginary childrens’ lives. It was always more of me as a soccer mom/PTA-goer, toting around my elementary/middle schoolers. Bringing orange wedges to the game for all the kids to share. Brownie troop leader. Prepping Thanksgiving dinner with my tweens. Sitting around the table helping my high school kids with their science projects and proofreading essays. Making pancakes for everyone the morning after a slumber party.
Being the mom of a three year old has been hard. So hard. It’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life so far. I have so many qualities that aren’t compatible with the three year old mindset. For example! I’m not very good at make-believe. I’m strict. I expect good behavior at all times. I enjoy having a very tidy house. Having a three year old leaves me feeling completely inadequate most days.
I don’t know, maybe if I could just focus on being the stay-at-home mom of a three year old and 9 week old, things would be easier. But for some reason I’m not content being “just” a stay-at-home mom. I, for some reason, insist on being a work-at-home mom with too many hobbies and aspirations. I have to have my own business and a part time job and a blog and make quilts and knit and be an aspiring photographer and cook! Which leaves me feeling extra inadequate, because I can’t devote the necessary attention to any one of my obligations.
I feel stuck, guys.