I have always envisioned myself as a stay at home mom. It’s what I’ve always wanted to be! But for some reason that vision totally skipped right over the infancy through preschooler period of my imaginary childrens’ lives. It was always more of me as a soccer mom/PTA-goer, toting around my elementary/middle schoolers. Bringing orange wedges to the game for all the kids to share. Brownie troop leader. Prepping Thanksgiving dinner with my tweens. Sitting around the table helping my high school kids with their science projects and proofreading essays. Making pancakes for everyone the morning after a slumber party.
Being the mom of a three year old has been hard. So hard. It’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life so far. I have so many qualities that aren’t compatible with the three year old mindset. For example! I’m not very good at make-believe. I’m strict. I expect good behavior at all times. I enjoy having a very tidy house. Having a three year old leaves me feeling completely inadequate most days.
I don’t know, maybe if I could just focus on being the stay-at-home mom of a three year old and 9 week old, things would be easier. But for some reason I’m not content being “just” a stay-at-home mom. I, for some reason, insist on being a work-at-home mom with too many hobbies and aspirations. I have to have my own business and a part time job and a blog and make quilts and knit and be an aspiring photographer and cook! Which leaves me feeling extra inadequate, because I can’t devote the necessary attention to any one of my obligations.
I feel stuck, guys.
I’m so sorry you feel like this but its so good to know im not alone! I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 4 week old and im feeling the same way you do. I do freelance work from home (yep, already back to work), have to keep sewing, quilting and crosstitching in order to feel like im doing something for myself, i have a jewelry shop on etsy, had to give up on blogging though (something had to give). I adore these ages but feel like my 2 year old hates me cause of the time i have to spend with the baby and because i am really strict. Ugh, my heart goes out to you!!!!! But i know we will both make it theough just fine and we will have good, healthy, loving and well behaved children in the end :0)
(sorry for the longest comment ever :0)
I felt really bad for Vada the first few weeks we were home with the baby. I felt like she wouldn’t even like me anymore, and she didn’t really care about the baby or anything (all she did was sleep, so who could blame her? haha) But after a while, things turned around, we found a better balance, and she is back to her normal self! It’s definitely a transition. Good luck <3
I think every mom feels inadequate in some way or another. I dream of being a stay at home mom- yet as soon as I found extra time to be at home with my girl, I filled that time with becoming a business owner, joining our church choir, and volunteering. All the while, I go insane because of my own expectations for what I should be accomplishing as a mom.
You’ll get a break when Vada start preschool.
I SO get this! 2.5-3 has definitely been a struggle for me. Little bits of awesome mixed in with a lot of defiance, temper tantrums, etc.I often look back at the day and think I’m totally failing at this mom thing. Anyway, I feel a little less inadequate when I read that other people have the same struggles too. Hang in there – I’m sure you’re doing a great job!
girl, i feel ya but just take each day at a time. we’re gonna miss these crazy days. watch and see. you’re awesome.
I know EXACTLY how you feel!!!! I’ve always wanted to be a stay at home mom, but this early stage is SO exhausting!!! I work full time now, and our goal for me is to be able to quit working once my youngest is in Kindergarten! I’ve always envisioned myself as more of the carpool, sports, volunteer mom too :)
I am right there with you. Like you took the words right out of my own thoughts. It’s a tough time, and I don’t know how to handle it, either. I just take it day by day, and try to find feelings of accomplishment in the little regular things, like folded laundry, or a trip to the library…. for me, blogging and crocheting and creating have taken back seat, and it’s taken me 5 years to realize that’s what I needed to do. Simon is going to kindergarten in a few weeks, Delilah is 2 (and most certainly in that “terrible” stage), and Oscar is just 6 months (and still breast fed) so I’m stretched thin. Once I took away the hobbies, the things I used to do for fun, I had a better functioning household. It’s hard to go through that process, but I have hope that i will have the time to do those things again one day, but right now, if I try to do them, AND be a sahm to three little ones, AND expect myself to be a good mom, and a wife that’s not about to snap at her husband because she’s so frustrated that her kiddos just don’t understand how to nap so mommy can just craft for once! **sigh** see? I’m in the same boat, and I had to choose to put those things on hold. I applaud the women who can manage a business, make things, blog, AND be a functioning sahm, but I found out that it cannot be me. I’m in a period where I’m training myself to think that that is ok. It’s a process. Sorry for the rambling comment…
btw I think your girls are just *beautiful*!!
(ps: I don’t mean for my last comment to be discouraging, just sharing)
Thanks, Holly! I can’t even imagine three. I’m sure things will all balance out after a while.
you are at a hard time right now, i think. these ages are very demanding on you physically. there’s really not a lot of time for much else, no matter how much you want it!! having said that, things change so quickly, and you may find you are able to do more in a few months than you can do right now. you certainly can’t do it all… and i know (b/c i hated hearing it in these stages) that hearing “they grow so fast” is annoying, but it is so true. right now you are seeing and wanting to do all the things you can’t do and you feel frustrated. i feel the same way, at times. i started writing lists of things to be grateful for.. i try to do it anytime i feel frustrated by what i can’t do…. my perspective begins to change when i do this. i’d rather be grateful and in the moment than wishing it away, although this is hard for me. give yourself a break and try for one thing each day that makes you feel creative…
Man,… it’s like you put my thoughts right into words. I only have a 1 year old, but inadequate, yes maam,… that’s what I am definitely feeling these days.