I’ll be 39 weeks on Friday. I feel gigantic, my feet are swollen, my back hurts and I can’t seem to sleep anymore (what’s up I’ve been awake since 3:45am!) so I’m starting to get a little impatient. I’m normally a great sleeper, so I don’t know what to do when I’m wide awake all by myself in the middle of the night for hours. Insomniacs, what do you do? Should I go downstairs and start watching Netflix? Clean? Cook? Work on a cross-stitch project or something? I usually just lay in my bed Googling stuff or playing word games on my phone trying to make myself drowsy.
Last night during my unslumber (yeah, just made that word up) I learned that I should eat around 2200 calories per day while breastfeeding! That seems like so much. I also learned how I should enter breast feeding into My Fitness Pal. I’m super gung ho on nursing successfully this time, since I didn’t produce like, anything with Vada and she was starving and not gaining weight regardless of me nursing her pretty much non-stop. I think that most likely happened because I wasn’t consuming enough calories. I would always forget to eat. A lot of times I just… don’t get hungry. I’ll just feel like shit all of a sudden and by then I feel too yucky to want to eat. It’s stupid.
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. Hopefully we’ve made some progress! Last week I was at 2cm, which was exciting because I was only at a 2 with Vada after hours of consistant, hard contractions. So far I’ve only had a few “good” contractions here and there, but nothing exciting.
Everything is pretty much in order and ready, so I feel like I kind of just wander around cleaning things and staring into space all day, just… waiting.
Besides the impatience, I’m still feeling really positive about this pregnancy and about having a newborn. Sometimes I get a little nervous about the whole labor/delivery thing, but most days I’m just excited to meet this little girl. I’m feeling like I might not have to deal with stupid PPD again. I plan on asking my doctor tomorrow to sort of harass me about it at my postpartum checkup. Last time I lied and said everything was fine when really I was totally sad and my anxiety was through the roof! Last time was a really, really big (HUGE) change from my normal life, though. And I mean, obviously it will be a change adding a newborn to the mix, but at least I have an idea of what to expect. With Vada, I went from working in the public and living with a bunch of roommates to being pretty much all alone, all the time, completely inexperienced as a mother with a colicky infant. It wasn’t good. I think I’ve got it this time, though. And if I don’t (you never know what those crazy hormones will do) then I’m not afraid to ask for help.
I’m looking forward to this weekend, hopefully the last one before baby gets here. If she decides she’s ready to hang out this weekend, I’m into that, too! I’m ready for the next phase. ♥
PS – Tomorrow this tiny tater tot turns THREE!!!
I felt the same way with my LO. The first one is such a drastic change. And learning to be alone with a baby all day is hard! We are trying for #2 right now and I just feel like I know so much more now, that I will be better equipped to handle another newborn.
Good luck with #2!
when i couldn’t sleep i ate….i would eat cereal any time i woke up!! i don’t think i had as much insomnia, though. i would try laying down somewhere else. i’m glad to hear you say you’ll be more honest this time – i think your experience, while it might be different this time, prepares you for so much. i thought i was confident the first time around, but it was the second time around that i was really confident – or that i realized so much is out of my control, so i better just roll with it. if there are lactation ladies at your hospital, have them come visit you – it can help so much with nursing. nursing for me went great with my first but i needed MAJOR help with my twins. i called for and got great advice and help latching on – which i think made it possible to work out those early weeks. (eating never seemed to be a problem for me… ahem…) having things for Vada to do (or people for her to hang with) will help so that you can concentrate on nursing! all the best, lindsay over the next days and weeks – i’m certainly thinking of you!
Thanks Elizabeth. I’m definitely asking the lactation ladies a ton of questions!
I like unslumber. The last week or so of my pregnancy I remember having miss piggy feet and not being able to get a good night sleep simply because I was waking up every 30-45 minutes to go to the bathroom. If I couldn’t go back to sleep I tried to read something since that usually makes me really sleepy. Sometimes it worked.
I’ve always wanted to thank you for sharing your experience with PPD (on another blog, I think) I went through something similar and it was really encouraging to me. At the time I didn’t know that’s what it was — or maybe I didn’t want to admit it but anyway, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Aw thanks Carrie. I’m happy I could help, I hope you are feeling better <3
I know I can’t possibly have much good advice for you, but I am definitely willing to take Vada to the park when you need a break or come over for some company when you are feeling down. I am always around!!